


i don't even know your name

by orphan_account



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 14:54:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20819168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: tom meets a fan at a convention and falls in love with her, but she doesn’t even notice.





	i don't even know your name

**Author's Note:**

> warnings: fluff, maybe some angst if you squint really, really hard  
guys i’m actually SO proud of this and i’m so excited for you to read it! i hope you enjoy 💕  
based off of shawn mendes's "i don't even know your name."

_ ooh, you waited so long.  _

Her smile as radiant as the sun, and her eyes shine like the moon, and Tom can’t seem to get her off his mind. 

Even as the next group of fans run up to greet him, their words go in one ear and out the other while his eyes are focused in the other direction. She watches her friend speak quickly and animatedly. He smiles blankly at the small group of people, making a silly face to match theirs as they took a picture with him, then giving them each hugs in turn before the next group arrived. Still, her expression dances in his mind, an image that he can’t and doesn’t want to release. An image never wants to let go. 

She’d walked up with her friend, evidently much more collected than her counterpart in obvious shock due to Tom’s presence. As her friend had waved hello nervously with an awestruck look in her eyes, she’d only stood there, a small, innocent smile decorating her face. Her eyes had met Tom’s when his own gaze flickered to hers, and they’d held a depth that Tom had never seen before. He’d immediately felt breathless with a childlike nervousness overcoming him at the mere sight of her, and she’d giggled at the wide-eyed expression his face held. 

When they’d positioned themselves for the photo, Tom had found his arm wrapping around her waist. Her hands placed delicately on his shoulder as she placed a mock-kiss on his cheek. At the contact, a tingling, tense sensation rushing through his entire body as he inhaled sharply, but she didn’t seem to notice. 

Before he could say anything else, they were walking away, her humble yet confident figure all his eyes could focus on. He’d reached out to her with a trembling hand, but she hadn’t seen him.  _ But I don’t even know your name. _

_ sometimes, it’s hard to stand out. _

As quickly as she’d arrived, she was gone, though not from Tom’s mind. Despite the constant buzz of action, he finds himself distracted, unable to focus on anything else except for her face in his mind. He’s barely even registering the people that are standing in front of him; they talk enthusiastically, but he’s got no idea what they’re saying. It’s hard to concentrate when the only voice inside his head is hers. She had barely even said a word to him, but he’s already awestruck by the melodic tone of her voice. He can’t help but wish that she’d stay and talk to him just so he can hear it again.

Then, those people are gone, too, just like she was, and like everyone before her. And, in what seems like the span of a millisecond, the photo op is over, and Tom finds himself back at the hotel with legs dangling over the edge of the bed while Haz gets ready to go out for the evening. 

“I met this girl today,” he blurts before he can stop himself as his gaze quickly drops to the floor, already deep in thought again. 

“You… did have a meet and greet,” Haz points out bluntly, shooting a confused grin at his best friend as he shakes his head. “What was she like?” 

_ and you don’t have to do anything else but be yourself.  _

“She was… perfect.” Tom smiles at the floor, eyes tracing patterns in the carpet as her face dances in his head. “She wasn’t a fan, I don’t think. Her friend was, though. She hugged me for the photo, but before I could ask for her name, she was gone.” Tom frowns a little bit. The thought’s put a damper on his previously upbeat mood, and he slumps over slightly, propping his head up with his palm. 

“Looks like she really made an impression on you.” A little smirk plays at the edge of Haz’s lips as he combs his hair back before pulling a suit jacket over his white dress shirt. “I know you remember some of the fans better than others, but still… I’ve never seen you like this before.”    
“She was really memorable,” Tom admits, exhaling a quiet laugh and running a hand through his hair. “Doesn’t matter, though, because I’ll never see her again.”

“You don’t know that,” Harrison argues with a sparkling twinkle gleaming in his turquoise eyes. “What was she wearing? Maybe you’ll see her again tonight at the panel.” 

_ you dressed up so nice, but all I could see was your eyes. _

“I… don’t know.” Tom’s eyebrows crease together, and he shoots a quick glance at the window as if she might hear him talking about her. “I didn’t really pay attention to her clothes, I guess.”    
“Wow.” Haz gazes over at Tom, shoving a hand in his pocket. “This girl’s really got you good, Tom.” 

Tom barely hears Haz’s words; he’s too caught up in the vision of her eyes, their mysterious sparkle still illuminating his own eyes. It’s enough to make him want to get lost in them forever.

“Do you know how old she is?” Haz’s voice breaks him out of his trance. “I really hope you’re not crushing on someone more than five years younger than you.”

“Around our age, I think,” Tom assures him quickly. He thinks back to her graceful poise, her bashful and quiet yet mature mannerisms, and another smile finds its way onto his face, his gaze drifting to the ceiling yet again. 

“You should look for her at the panel tonight,” Haz says again, grinning at Tom as he grabs his upper arm and pulls him to a standing position. “C’mon, you div, or we’re going to be late for dinner. Can’t spend the whole night thinking about pretty girls, Tom.” 

Tom can’t help but wish he could. 

_ and then the crowd came and pulled you away and then you were gone. _

“So then what happened?” Harry asks for the millionth time, a grin decorating his smug face, and Sam laughs from beside him. They’re at dinner now, and Tom’s retelling the story, much to his dismay. He hadn’t been planning on telling his brothers about her, but Haz brought it up before he could stop him, and now he’s being forced to talk about her. Not that he minds; spilling his sudden feelings is almost comforting, somehow, like the tension on his chest is being released. 

“She… disappeared, I guess,” Tom tells him, shrugging like it’s no big deal. It  _ is  _ a big deal, but he’s not going to let it show. “Got pulled away by the crowd.” The memory, fresh in his mind, replays again, and he can still see her getting swallowed by the masses of people surrounding the red carpet where he’d been standing. Despite the fact that she stood out from the crowd, after mere seconds, Tom hadn’t even been able to spot her. 

“That sucks, mate,” Sam says with a laugh, exchanging a glance with Haz across the table. 

“He’s going to try and find her at the panel tonight, though,” Haz replies with a smirk, and Tom shoots him a glare. 

“Haz! It’s not like I’ll be  _ looking  _ for her, div. That’d be creepy.” Tom rolls his eyes at him, turning his attention back to his food, but he doesn’t eat. He can’t, really, with the way his stomach’s tossing and turning as his mind races. What if he really does spot her at the panel tonight? What’s he even going to do? It isn’t like he’d be able to call her up to the stage or anything- that’d freak her out, and besides, that would be way too conspicuous. Tom will have to go about this in a bit of a different way if he’s going to make an attempt to talk with her, but he has no idea how to approach it. 

_ and I don’t even know your name, all I remember is that smile on your face. _

“You sure she really never said her name? Maybe you just missed it, ‘cause you were so in love with her,” Harry teases with a grin, and Tom shakes his head. No, he would’ve heard if she’d told him her name- it wasn’t like he’d been consciously waiting for her to utter it, but the thought had definitely been at the back of his mind. She’d barely said anything at all, really; her smile had communicated everything Tom needed to know. It was sweet and innocent, but there’d been a captivating mystery in the way her soft pink lips had been slightly curled up, and Tom hadn’t been able to help but imagine what it’d be like to kiss her lips, pulling her to him in a short and sweet embrace. The gesture would have been a bit off-putting, though, he realizes with a smirk. 

The conversation’s moved past his relationship endeavors, and Tom leans on the table, listening to what his brothers and Haz are saying but barely making another sound. 

Sometimes, he’s learned, words aren’t needed to say all the things on the tip of your tongue. 

_ everywhere that I go I see your face. _

Tom leans on the car door, his eyes wandering out the window in a wide-eyed gaze. And he can’t help it; everywhere he looks, he’s searching for her, glancing around the crowded streets in an attempt to spot her, or trying to find some hint that she might be there. A few times, he thinks he’s seen her, but then the person will turn around and his stomach will fall in disappointment. 

Throughout the entire car ride, his heart is pounding faster than it’s ever before, a confusing mess of tangled-up emotions and nerves and anxiety. Tom barely even realizes when they pull up at the convention center, and Haz pokes his shoulder teasingly from where he’s sitting behind Tom. 

“We’re here, div,” Haz says, smiling widely when Tom turns around, startled. “You ready for this?” 

Tom laughs, but his eyes betray the fear he holds in his chest, and Haz’s eyes soften. “Tom, everything’s going to be fine. You’re usually so excited about these; you’ll do great. Just think of it as if it’s a normal panel.” 

Tom nods, inhaling deeply before swinging his car door open and standing up with shaking legs. The thing is, it’s  _ not  _ a normal panel, and no matter how hard he tries to forget her, her face keeps spinning in his mind, the reason for his every step and the cause of the goofy, silly grin that appears on his face every time he thinks of her. It’s something he can’t let go of, and he doesn’t know if he can go back to London without seeing her one final time. At the very least, he needs some sort of closure, some last goodbye, before he never sees her again. 

There’s shouts of his name and screams echoing around him, vibrating through his ears, but Tom barely pays attention to them, his eyes focused on only one spot- the door. He waves and smiles at the fans behind the barriers, but his main intention is only to make it into the convention center and prepare for the panel. Originally, they’d been planning to arrive early, so they didn’t have to handle the screaming fans, but the meet and greet had taken longer than expected, and the plan had been altered. Now, Tom and his team have five minutes to make it to the auditorium before they start releasing fans to take their seats, and he wants to make it there quickly. 

_ and it kills me to know that you’ll never know what you did to me, and now you’re gone. _

He hides behind the curtain on the side of the stage, hearing the thousands of fans shuffling into the auditorium. Usually, he’s not this nervous for a panel - normally, he’s enthusiastic about getting to interact with the fans. The crowd always seems to have a heartbeat, a pulsing, thriving, living feeling, but today, Tom doesn’t notice it. Today’s different somehow, and Tom knows that it’s not the crowd that’s different.

It’s him. 

_ i’m running, i’m searching, and i don’t know where to start.  _

He hears a signal from Michael, the host of the panel, and before he can give himself any more time to stress out about the interview, he’s running onto the stage, a grin spreading across his face as he waves at everyone in the crowd. He takes his seat on the couch, grabbing the microphone from the interview with a quick “thank you” and a nod before his gaze wanders back out to the hundreds of people that have waited for hours just to see  _ him _ . Just to hear him talk, just to talk to him, just to be there with Tom. He’s overwhelmed with gratitude, and he clears his throat, close to choking up with tears that suddenly fill his eyes.    
“I just wanted to tell you all how appreciative I am that all of you took the time to come out here to hang out with me. I love all of you more than you know, and it means the world to me that there are so many of you that would do this. You guys are the best,” he says, shooting a quick gaze offstage at Haz, who gives him a thumbs-up. Tom grins again, most of the nerves relieved, and he sits back in his seat, feeling the tension disappearing from his shoulders. 

“We’re so lucky to have you here, Tom,” Michael adds, his smile matching Tom’s as he glances down at the sheet of paper sitting on the couch beside him. “Now, before we open it up to the audience to ask some questions, there’s a few pre-prepared ones here that we wanted to start off with. That okay with you, Tom?”

“Always, Michael,” Tom replies, an energetic twinkle gleaming in his eyes as his gaze returns to the audience. His attention is on Michael’s words, but he can’t help himself from looking for her. The thought of her’s been in the back of his mind this whole time, and he wants nothing more than to see her again. Still, he knows that he needs to focus on the panel- there’s a whole crowd of people out there that showed up just for him, and he’s not about to let them down. 

“Well, Tom.” Michael raises an eyebrow at him, his fingers messing with the paper. “I guess we’ll just start off with the question we know  _ all  _ of your fans have just been  _ dying _ to know the answer to.” 

“What’s that?” Tom matches his expression lightheartedly, crossing his leg over his other one casually and shifting in his seat. 

“Tom, just tell us the truth here. Do you and Zendaya kiss in the upcoming film?”    
Screams erupt from the crowd at Michael’s question, the crowd on the edge of their seats in anticipation. Tom squirms a little bit, but even he’s laughing at Michael’s suggestive smirk. “Honestly, Michael, you know how I am with spoilers. Do you really think Jon would trust me with such an important secret?” The crowd ripples with laughter, and Tom grins, thrilled by their enthusiasm. “Jon’s the director of all the Spider-Man films I’ve been in, by the way. I’m sure he gets a bit tired of me getting asked these questions, truthfully, because he knows I can’t be trusted. So I can’t answer that, Michael. Guess you’ll all just have to watch the movie and find out!” Tom winks exaggeratedly at Michael, grinning at the disappointed boos and laughter coming from the audience. 

Michael laughs before diving into the next question, and Tom answers him thoughtfully and truthfully. Before he knows it, it’s time for the audience to ask their own questions, and they form a line at a microphone a few feet away from the stage. Tom, his eyes drawn to the audience as his eyes naturally begin searching for her, blinks and shakes his head in a start when he hears his name being called. Michael’s giving him a bit of a strange look, and he feels his cheeks flush with embarrassment. 

“Looking for someone, Tom?” Michael’s voice is teasing, but Tom bites his lip uncomfortably, hesitant to tell yet another person - or, rather, thousands - about the girl that he can’t keep off of his mind. 

“Just spotting some of the fans I met this morning,” Tom bluffs instead, relieved when Michael nods in understanding. The first two fans step up to the microphone, and Tom turns his attention to their question, but still he can’t help his gaze from wandering out to the crowd in search of her. 

“What’s your favorite role you’ve played throughout the years?” the shorter, younger fan asks hopefully, her voice high and squeaky. Tom smiles. He figures many of his fans will already know the answer to this question, but to appease the young girl’s question, he responds anyway. 

“It was my dream as a little kid to play Spider-Man, so that’s definitely my favorite role that I’ve ever played,” Tom replies, smiling at the little girl. “Shoutout to Marvel and Sony for making that happen, by the way!” The crowd cheers, and Tom feels a rush of excitement pulse through him. 

The next few fans’ questions go quickly, and Tom finds himself so caught up in the moment that she barely even crosses his mind. He hasn’t realized how much she’d been on it until she isn’t, it seems, but subconsciously he’s glad that he’s giving his anxious brain a break from the nerves. In the moment, he’s almost forgotten about her completely. 

Until she steps up to the microphone. 

Tom finds himself rushing back into a familiar state, the mere sight of her leaving him completely breathless and every other voice hazy compared to hers. The same friend from earlier stands next to her, and they grin nervously at Tom as her friend begin to speak. Tom’s eyes are drawn immediately to her, despite the fact that she’s not the one talking. Her friend’s words are blurred in his ear, and he barely hears her talking until he’s snapped out of his daze by Michael’s voice.

“Tom, I think she asked you a question,” Michael stage-whispers into his microphone, his voice echoing through the speakers surrounding the auditorium. Tom flushes red again, and he apologizes quickly. “Sorry, I’m a little tired today. What was your question, darling?”

Her friend glances at her, and this time she’s the one that speaks. “What’s your favorite part about being Spider-Man?” Her voice is angelic, like an alluring song that Tom can’t resist, and he lets out a nervous, awestruck laugh before he responds. 

His voice is shaky as he speaks, but he does his best to steady it. “It’s the fans,” he replies honestly, ducking his head as a small smile crosses his face. “I couldn’t feel more loved by all of you that show up to support me. And, I have to admit, I get to meet some pretty amazing people.” They lock eyes, and it’s her turn to blush, giggling softly as her friend leans into the microphone to thank him. Then, they’re walking away, and Tom can’t help but feel a little disappointed that he doesn’t get to talk to her any more. Still, his eyes follow them to where they’re sitting, and a small smile crosses his face, a soft glimmer of hope touching his heart. A connection. 

The rest of the panel passes quickly, and despite his thoughts being occupied by her, he finds himself acting more engaged with the fans- now that he’s seen her again, he’s calmed down a little bit, relieved by the ease of their limited interaction. Later, after the room has cleared of people, Tom finds himself still sitting alone in the auditorium, a soft smile playing at the edge of his lips in satisfaction. 

Haz walks up behind him, falling into a sitting position next to him on the couch. “So you talked to her, huh?” 

“Yeah,” Tom says with a lilt in his tone, his eyes meeting Haz’s as he grins at his best friend. He knows they both have the same thing on their minds: what now? Tom isn’t sure if it would even be worth it to pursue something with this girl; after all, he lives so far away in London, and he’s always busy with something else pertaining to his job, and she probably doesn’t want anything to do with him, anyway. 

“Let’s go grab some coffee,” Haz says abruptly, breaking the comfortable silence that’d come between them as he shot to a standing position. “I could really use a boost after all this… panel stuff.” 

Tom follows suit, feeling for his phone in his pocket before he follows Haz off the short steps of the stage. Usually, he’d stay behind and help with clean-up, chatting with the host a little more and thanking the crew for all their work, but tonight, his mind’s on other things. “You weren’t even the one doing the talking, div,” he replies, snorting at the offended expression that appears on Haz’s face. 

“Being behind the scenes is hard work, y’know,” Haz says seriously, raising an eyebrow. “Plus, being your moral support really takes a lot out of you.” 

Tom laughs softly, shaking his head at his best friend with a smile. “I’m sure it does, Haz.” 

_ i’m dying, my love, you punched a hole right through my heart.  _

The sweet, fragrant scent of the small coffee shop overwhelms Tom as he walks through the door hesitantly, his eyes shifting to scan the room before he steps in. It’s a quaint, welcoming place, and the buzz of the quiet activity feels like a soft hug wrapping him in warmth and filling him to the brim with comfort. He and Haz stroll casually up to the counter, smiling at the barista as they place orders. After they’ve been handed the steaming paper cups, they find a table by the window, taking seats in the rickety wooden chairs that are much more comfortable than Tom had been originally anticipating. 

He shoots a glance out the window, his eyes captured by the swift motion of the city they’re in. It almost reminds him of London, of the way his city never quite seems to go to sleep. Across from him, Haz is quiet, lost in thought as he sips from his cup. Usually, they’d be caught up in the friendly banter that they always shared, their goofiness seeming like second nature, but today’s different. Tom realizes this for what seems like the millionth time that evening. With the way his mind’s racing, though, he can’t seem to focus on just one thought, and soon his attention’s turned back to her: the way her smile lights up her whole face, her eyes glowing with a contagious happiness, and the way she giggles when she’s embarrassed, ducking her head slightly, and the way she laughs with her whole body, her head thrown back in a gleeful position. 

A small twinge of regret claws at his heart, the knowledge that he’ll likely never see her again ingrained in his mind along with a bittersweet image of her perfect face. He’s overcome with disappointment all of a sudden, and he bites his lip, unsure of what to do. He can’t live like this forever, he knows, lost in nostalgia and sadness, but something about the way she’d looked at him has ripped a hole in his heart, letting all the pent-up feelings spill out in a waterfall of emotions. 

_ and i won’t stop looking...  _

Suddenly, he realizes that Haz is staring at him, his face obviously trying to signal something. Hearing the gentle twinkle of the shop’s doorbell echoing through the room, Tom narrows his eyes at Haz, pleading silently for communication. Haz tilts his head towards the counter, and Tom’s gaze shifts slightly until it lands on where his best friend’s gesturing. 

_ Oh _ . Tom’s mouth drops open slightly.  _ It’s her _ . 

Panic rushes through him suddenly, and he turns back to Haz, eyes widened and teeth clenched.  _ What do I do?  _ he mouths, his heart pounding so loudly he’s sure she’s able to hear him from across the coffee shop. 

Haz rolls his eyes.  _ Go talk to her _ , he replies silently, hand gesturing towards where she’s standing. Tom hesitantly stands up, his normally confident figure reduced to that of a nervous schoolboy as he walks slowly towards her. 

“Hey,” he says once he reaches the counter, leaning on the edge with a soft smile in her direction. Startled, she jumps back a little, narrowing her eyebrows slightly at his sudden appearance. 

“Hi.” Her statement is short, but there’s nothing bitter in her statement- only surprise. 

“Wasn’t expecting to see you here,” Tom prompts, tilting his head slightly as he waits for her answer. It’s all so sudden that he can barely process what’s happening, so he can’t expect that she’s doing any better. Still, the moment is so pure that he can’t bear to ruin it, and instead he keeps quiet. 

“Wasn’t expecting you’d remember me,” she counters, a confused smile appearing on her face. 

“You’d be surprised,” Tom murmurs under his breath- then, in a louder voice, he adds, “Hard not to remember someone like you.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Now she’s on the defense, tensely watching him as she pays for her coffee and thanks the barista. 

“Nothing! It’s just, I… you were really nice, and I remembered you, that’s all,” Tom replies hurriedly, his tone softening towards the end as he watches her with a worried stare. He hasn’t ruined things already, has he? 

But she only smiles at the flustered look on his face, and he feels a rush of relief flooding through him. They walk slowly to a table, taking seats across from each other, and Tom feels the fluttery feeling returning to his stomach. Here she is, only a few feet away from him, intrigued by his company, and he’s almost not sure what to do. Taking a leap of confidence, he meets her eyes, their stunning brilliance hitting him all at once as he inhales sharply. Still, he tries not to show her how much she’s affecting him, and instead he smiles and asks, “How’d you enjoy the day?” 

The gleam in her eyes that lights up her face compares to no other, and soon they’re lost in conversation about everything and nothing at all. Tom barely sees Haz waving goodbye to him out of the corner of his eye, so distracted by the girl that’s sitting in front of him that he can’t focus on anything except for her. Her soft giggles fill him with a thrill of happiness, her lips curling up in a small smirk at whatever Tom’s said now. 

_ ...‘till i hold you in my arms.  _

The night ends sooner than Tom would like it to, and before he knows it, they’re exchanging phone numbers and saying their goodbyes. Suddenly she steps close to him, pulling him in for a quick, friendly, hug, but even though it’s meant to be casual, it leaves Tom breathless. He tries to savor the feeling of holding her, but the moment’s over far too soon, and with a wistful glance over her shoulder, she steps towards the door. 

But Tom’s not letting her get away that quickly this time. “Wait,” he calls out, and she stops for a second, turning on her heel with a confused expression decorating her face. A small smile plays at the corners of his mouth, and before he can let his nerves get the best of him, he tells her, “I don’t even know your name.”

Her mouth drops open slightly before morphing into a grin so bright it could rival the sun. “Y/N,” she says, a wonderstruck look in her eyes as she meets his. “My name’s Y/N.” 

And then she’s gone, the jingle of the doorbell and the awestruck expression on Peter’s face the only indication that she was ever there. “Y/N,” he whispers softly, a grin appearing on his face. The name’s melodic on his tongue, a sweet simple sound that somehow manages to put him on top of the world. And now he has a connection, a name to put with a face. He was never expecting to get here, to have really  _ talked _ to her, but now that he has, he can’t imagine living his life without her in it.

_ Y/N _ . The name rings through his head, bringing an even wider smile to his face at every thought of it. It lingers on the tip of his tongue, sending a rushing thrill of hope down his spine. It’s real, and it’s wonderful, and it’s hers. 

_ Y/N. _

It’s perfect. 

  
  



End file.
